Family reunions used to be simple affairs—maybe an afternoon barbecue in the park, followed by a leisurely game of softball. If Aunt Judy remembered, you might even get a souvenir copy of the group photo in the mail. But as more and more of us settle far from home, reunions have morphed into elaborate weeklong vacations that can bring together four generations. Even without the family politics, organizers face a daunting task. Luckily, planning a cost-conscious family gathering has become easier than ever, thanks to some handy new Internet resources. The key to it all: Start planning as much as 18 months ahead. Now, if only Aunt Judy and her sister could get along.

1. Start the Discussion - 12 to 18 months in advance

“One of the biggest challenges is finding an acceptable date and budget,” says Brian Harrington, president of the group travel website I’m in! (imin.com). To keep your plans aloft, you’ll need to communicate with relatives long before you even think about booking. Start by setting up a reunion homepage (see box, next page) where family members can begin trading ideas and hammering out preliminary details.

Since cost is often a big concern, Edith Wagner, editor of Reunions magazine, suggests focusing on locations within driving distance for the majority of relatives. As for dates, figure out what works generally—a long holiday weekend, say, or during the kids’ summer vacation—then offer a handful of specific dates and vote. Recognize that there’s no way to please everyone. Once you’ve nailed down your date, “etch it in stone,” advises Wagner.

2. Book your spot - 12 months in advance

Mountain cabin? Beach resort? Cruise? Group travel websites let you search for trips at discounted rates. If you prefer the human touch, many cities’ convention and visitor bureaus (CVBs) have specialists who’ll help plan your trip and may even arrange special rates.

If there are no geographic limitations, you can tailor your destination to your family’s interests. You’re all golfers? Tee up at a resort near a great course. If you want to commemorate the family’s roots, consider returning to where the older generation grew up. If you have lots of small kids, beach and pool resorts and cruises are terrific options.

Wherever you book, don’t be afraid to use the power of your numbers to negotiate discounts or perks. Some cruise lines will give your group a free stateroom if you book a number of cabins, while a resort might offer free use of a hospitality suite.

3. Plan activities - 6 months in advance

However plush the hotel bed or delicious the buffet, memories of these details will soon fade. What families won’t forget are the bonding activities like a hilarious three-legged race or a white-water rafting trip.

And don’t think you have to spend money to have fun. If you’re theater lovers, put on a talent show. If you’re a sporty group, take a trip to a professional game or just organize your own ragtag version. Board games like Pictionary become riotously fun when played with large groups. If you’re on a heritage trip to the family’s hometown, have the older generation lead a “historical tour” of their former haunts. Invariably, every family has an archivist, so enlist him or her to do a genealogical presentation—with photos.

One caveat: Be careful about overbooking activities. Sometimes the best memories come from lazing around the pool, watching the kids cannonball while you catch up with a long-lost uncle.

4.  Order your stuff - 2–4 months in advance

Would you like welcome packages? How about commemorative T-shirts? A photographer to take a group photo? Printed programs or menus for the formal dinner? Some of these can take months to arrange, so you’ll at least want to locate your vendors and get the ball rolling early on. And you’ll also want to wrangle other relatives to help you so you’re not overwhelmed. After all, the less time you spend planning, the more energy you’ll have to concentrate on the important stuff at the reunion—like kicking cousin Karen’s butt at Scrabble.

Online resources

groople.com: Set up your reunion homepage and use the site to book hotel rooms, flights and car rentals. A handy tool lets family members pay their share online.

imin.com: Make your own homepage; store documents and photos; browse sample trips; use the chat room for virtual family powwows.

reunionsmag.com: The online version of Reunions magazine offers ideas, timelines, checklists and forums for swapping tips.

reuniontraveldirectory.com: Check out the sample reunion itineraries, listing of state visitor bureaus, and guide to helpful reunion-planning books.

Best spots for a budget reunion

Cruises: Floating reunions are easy to book for large numbers, offer plenty of activities for all ages and can be ridiculously cheap, especially off-season—as little as $100 per person per day.

Camping: Larger campgrounds like KOA and Jellystone are turning into mini-resorts, with pools, game rooms and restaurants, plus old standbys like campfires. For those not into roughing it, many campgrounds now have cabins as well.

Condos: Booking a group of condos can be a big saver, especially if you’re going off-season (to a ski resort in summer, for example). Consider hiring caterers to feed the brood, and ask the CVB to help find one that fits your budget.

Resorts: All-inclusive spots like Beaches and Club Med generally drop prices in the off-season. Pool resorts like those in Arizona and Southern California have lots of activities and amenities.

Airport hotels: Find deep discounts for groups. Many of these hotels are close enough to attractions that it’s worth trading convenience for price.